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#11
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Please do not go away Luna. I have never revealed anything to you but your
quitting smoking has hit a real place in my heart. My mom is dying of emphysema from years of smoking. It is late and tears fall easy in the middle of the night. I have read all that you have posted with great interest and you have been hit with a lot of Crap. Everyone needs a "buck up" lecture now and then but a kind word is also good medicine. I think of you and look for your posts. Stick around kid. we aren't all bad. "Luna" wrote in message ... Thanks Carol. I don't feel like I am maintaining any strength, I feel like I'm in a position of weakness. I feel like a naked, weak, sick person just saying "Ok, here I am. I have nothing. Take your best shot." I guess I'm not afraid of people calling me things I'm not, because I know the truth of my situation. It still makes me angry though. Part of me wants to run off, but I need to learn how to deal with having strong emotions again. In article , Carol wrote: I'm in total agreement. It's one of the reasons I'm posting so rarely these days. I feel that I've revealed too much of myself here, and I'm nervous about saying any more. I feel alone. I'm glad for you, Michelle, that you're maintaining the strength to keep posting the complete story. Carol On Fri, 27 Aug 2004 03:08:49 GMT, Luna wrote: I'm sick of people minimizing other people's struggles, in general, not just in my case. This whole attitude of "What you're going through isn't that hard, stop whining" First off, it's crap. Everyone knows it's crap when the struggle is against something concrete and external. We all know people have different levels of physical ability. For example, if my 82 year old grandmother, who has a bad hip and has never ridden a bike, learned how to ride and rode a whole mile, that would be a far more difficult accomplishment than if Roger, in his present condition, were to ride a mile on his bike. Yet, when it's an internal struggle, people expect everyone to have the same ability and level of difficulty. I don't know why it is so hard to accept that some people may have a more difficult time controlling their eating than others, some people may have more difficulty dealing with stress, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, etc. There are different levels of natural ability, and different levels of life experiences which help build coping skills. I've never had a drinking problem, so should I sit in judgment of people who do and say "What's the big deal? I don't find it so hard not to drink, neither should you." For you it may be no big deal to go out and shop for groceries. For an acute agoraphobic, this would be a huge deal. Telling them to stop whining and get over it won't help at all and would just make you look like an asshole. Lying to myself and telling myself that quitting smoking is easy and controlling my eating is easy will not magically make it easy. Instead it just makes me feel like a failure over and over. It would make me _not_ seek out help and support, because hey, if it's easy I shouldn't need help. If eating less is so easy, then I shouldn't need to get out of the house or find some other way to distract myself when I feel like munching. If it's so easy, it should just happen automatically with no effort on my part. And waiting around for it to happen on its own won't get the job done. Like every other human being I have my strengths and weaknesses. Some of my weak areas include self control, impulse control, motivation, and maintaining a positive outlook. Those 4 things are the main tendencies I have to fight against in just about every endeavor in my life. And for people who _don't_ have problems in those areas to come and tell me that no, I actually don't have them either, that I'm making it up to get attention, or using them as excuses, is a bunch of crap. I'm not making them up, and they're not excuses. You have to play the hand you're dealt in life, and that's the hand I have. I would be completely deserving of being called a drama queen or told I was making excuses if I said that I was giving up, that I didn't want to play the game anymore, that it was too hard and I was just going to take my toys and go home. Well, I'm not doing that. This is hard and it sucks and I hate it, but it's worth it. I want to be healthy and strong, no matter what it takes, and I will do it, I will get there. The fact that I find it difficult doesn't mean I have some kind of moral failing. The moral failing would be in letting the difficulty be an excuse to stop working on it. -- Michelle Levin http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws. |
#12
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Well, I'm not doing that. This is hard and it sucks and I hate it, but
it's worth it. I want to be healthy and strong, no matter what it takes, and I will do it, I will get there. The fact that I find it difficult doesn't mean I have some kind of moral failing. The moral failing would be in letting the difficulty be an excuse to stop working on it. Great attitude, Michelle. I, for one, found quitting smoking FAR easier to do and stick with (3 years, 8 months smoke free) than getting this fat off of me. My willpower, strength, ability........whatever you call it, is just gone. ~Carol Ann |
#13
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Well, I'm not doing that. This is hard and it sucks and I hate it, but
it's worth it. I want to be healthy and strong, no matter what it takes, and I will do it, I will get there. The fact that I find it difficult doesn't mean I have some kind of moral failing. The moral failing would be in letting the difficulty be an excuse to stop working on it. Great attitude, Michelle. I, for one, found quitting smoking FAR easier to do and stick with (3 years, 8 months smoke free) than getting this fat off of me. My willpower, strength, ability........whatever you call it, is just gone. ~Carol Ann |
#14
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Luna wrote:
I'm sick of people minimizing other people's struggles, in general, not just in my case. This whole attitude of "What you're going through isn't at hard, stop whining" It's much, much easier to maintain than to lose fat. It is crap to say that it is not hard, but the opposite side of the table, where the fat people claim they did not have any responsibility for their own state, is equally crap. (I can see a silly comment coming, so I might as well answer it now: "My parents never taught me" is not an excuse, because that can be said about all irresponsible behaviour. Doesn't change that fact that the given person was irresponsible about it.) |
#15
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Luna wrote:
I'm sick of people minimizing other people's struggles, in general, not just in my case. This whole attitude of "What you're going through isn't at hard, stop whining" It's much, much easier to maintain than to lose fat. It is crap to say that it is not hard, but the opposite side of the table, where the fat people claim they did not have any responsibility for their own state, is equally crap. (I can see a silly comment coming, so I might as well answer it now: "My parents never taught me" is not an excuse, because that can be said about all irresponsible behaviour. Doesn't change that fact that the given person was irresponsible about it.) |
#16
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Ok then, you're a total hero for having the courage to not put a stick in
your mouth. Duh. -- Now **** off. You cannot possibly be this stupid and remember to breathe. You must be trolling. -- Carmen "Luna" wrote in message ... I'm sick of people minimizing other people's struggles, in general, not just in my case. This whole attitude of "What you're going through isn't that hard, stop whining" First off, it's crap. Everyone knows it's crap when the struggle is against something concrete and external. We all know people have different levels of physical ability. For example, if my 82 year old grandmother, who has a bad hip and has never ridden a bike, learned how to ride and rode a whole mile, that would be a far more difficult accomplishment than if Roger, in his present condition, were to ride a mile on his bike. Yet, when it's an internal struggle, people expect everyone to have the same ability and level of difficulty. I don't know why it is so hard to accept that some people may have a more difficult time controlling their eating than others, some people may have more difficulty dealing with stress, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, etc. There are different levels of natural ability, and different levels of life experiences which help build coping skills. I've never had a drinking problem, so should I sit in judgment of people who do and say "What's the big deal? I don't find it so hard not to drink, neither should you." For you it may be no big deal to go out and shop for groceries. For an acute agoraphobic, this would be a huge deal. Telling them to stop whining and get over it won't help at all and would just make you look like an asshole. Lying to myself and telling myself that quitting smoking is easy and controlling my eating is easy will not magically make it easy. Instead it just makes me feel like a failure over and over. It would make me _not_ seek out help and support, because hey, if it's easy I shouldn't need help. If eating less is so easy, then I shouldn't need to get out of the house or find some other way to distract myself when I feel like munching. If it's so easy, it should just happen automatically with no effort on my part. And waiting around for it to happen on its own won't get the job done. Like every other human being I have my strengths and weaknesses. Some of my weak areas include self control, impulse control, motivation, and maintaining a positive outlook. Those 4 things are the main tendencies I have to fight against in just about every endeavor in my life. And for people who _don't_ have problems in those areas to come and tell me that no, I actually don't have them either, that I'm making it up to get attention, or using them as excuses, is a bunch of crap. I'm not making them up, and they're not excuses. You have to play the hand you're dealt in life, and that's the hand I have. I would be completely deserving of being called a drama queen or told I was making excuses if I said that I was giving up, that I didn't want to play the game anymore, that it was too hard and I was just going to take my toys and go home. Well, I'm not doing that. This is hard and it sucks and I hate it, but it's worth it. I want to be healthy and strong, no matter what it takes, and I will do it, I will get there. The fact that I find it difficult doesn't mean I have some kind of moral failing. The moral failing would be in letting the difficulty be an excuse to stop working on it. -- Michelle Levin http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws. |
#17
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Ok then, you're a total hero for having the courage to not put a stick in
your mouth. Duh. -- Now **** off. You cannot possibly be this stupid and remember to breathe. You must be trolling. -- Carmen "Luna" wrote in message ... I'm sick of people minimizing other people's struggles, in general, not just in my case. This whole attitude of "What you're going through isn't that hard, stop whining" First off, it's crap. Everyone knows it's crap when the struggle is against something concrete and external. We all know people have different levels of physical ability. For example, if my 82 year old grandmother, who has a bad hip and has never ridden a bike, learned how to ride and rode a whole mile, that would be a far more difficult accomplishment than if Roger, in his present condition, were to ride a mile on his bike. Yet, when it's an internal struggle, people expect everyone to have the same ability and level of difficulty. I don't know why it is so hard to accept that some people may have a more difficult time controlling their eating than others, some people may have more difficulty dealing with stress, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, etc. There are different levels of natural ability, and different levels of life experiences which help build coping skills. I've never had a drinking problem, so should I sit in judgment of people who do and say "What's the big deal? I don't find it so hard not to drink, neither should you." For you it may be no big deal to go out and shop for groceries. For an acute agoraphobic, this would be a huge deal. Telling them to stop whining and get over it won't help at all and would just make you look like an asshole. Lying to myself and telling myself that quitting smoking is easy and controlling my eating is easy will not magically make it easy. Instead it just makes me feel like a failure over and over. It would make me _not_ seek out help and support, because hey, if it's easy I shouldn't need help. If eating less is so easy, then I shouldn't need to get out of the house or find some other way to distract myself when I feel like munching. If it's so easy, it should just happen automatically with no effort on my part. And waiting around for it to happen on its own won't get the job done. Like every other human being I have my strengths and weaknesses. Some of my weak areas include self control, impulse control, motivation, and maintaining a positive outlook. Those 4 things are the main tendencies I have to fight against in just about every endeavor in my life. And for people who _don't_ have problems in those areas to come and tell me that no, I actually don't have them either, that I'm making it up to get attention, or using them as excuses, is a bunch of crap. I'm not making them up, and they're not excuses. You have to play the hand you're dealt in life, and that's the hand I have. I would be completely deserving of being called a drama queen or told I was making excuses if I said that I was giving up, that I didn't want to play the game anymore, that it was too hard and I was just going to take my toys and go home. Well, I'm not doing that. This is hard and it sucks and I hate it, but it's worth it. I want to be healthy and strong, no matter what it takes, and I will do it, I will get there. The fact that I find it difficult doesn't mean I have some kind of moral failing. The moral failing would be in letting the difficulty be an excuse to stop working on it. -- Michelle Levin http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws. |
#18
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"Luna" wrote in message
... I'm sick of people minimizing other people's struggles, in general, not just in my case. This whole attitude of "What you're going through isn't that hard, stop whining" First off, it's crap. Everyone knows it's crap when the struggle is against something concrete and external. We all know people have different levels of physical ability. For example, if my 82 year old grandmother, who has a bad hip and has never ridden a bike, learned how to ride and rode a whole mile, that would be a far more difficult accomplishment than if Roger, in his present condition, were to ride a mile on his bike. Yet, when it's an internal struggle, people expect everyone to have the same ability and level of difficulty. I don't know why it is so hard to accept that some people may have a more difficult time controlling their eating than others, some people may have more difficulty dealing with stress, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, etc. There are different levels of natural ability, and different levels of life experiences which help build coping skills. I've never had a drinking problem, so should I sit in judgment of people who do and say "What's the big deal? I don't find it so hard not to drink, neither should you." For you it may be no big deal to go out and shop for groceries. For an acute agoraphobic, this would be a huge deal. Telling them to stop whining and get over it won't help at all and would just make you look like an asshole. Lying to myself and telling myself that quitting smoking is easy and controlling my eating is easy will not magically make it easy. Instead it just makes me feel like a failure over and over. It would make me _not_ seek out help and support, because hey, if it's easy I shouldn't need help. If eating less is so easy, then I shouldn't need to get out of the house or find some other way to distract myself when I feel like munching. If it's so easy, it should just happen automatically with no effort on my part. And waiting around for it to happen on its own won't get the job done. Like every other human being I have my strengths and weaknesses. Some of my weak areas include self control, impulse control, motivation, and maintaining a positive outlook. Those 4 things are the main tendencies I have to fight against in just about every endeavor in my life. And for people who _don't_ have problems in those areas to come and tell me that no, I actually don't have them either, that I'm making it up to get attention, or using them as excuses, is a bunch of crap. I'm not making them up, and they're not excuses. You have to play the hand you're dealt in life, and that's the hand I have. I would be completely deserving of being called a drama queen or told I was making excuses if I said that I was giving up, that I didn't want to play the game anymore, that it was too hard and I was just going to take my toys and go home. Well, I'm not doing that. This is hard and it sucks and I hate it, but it's worth it. I want to be healthy and strong, no matter what it takes, and I will do it, I will get there. The fact that I find it difficult doesn't mean I have some kind of moral failing. The moral failing would be in letting the difficulty be an excuse to stop working on it. -- Michelle Levin Michelle, you go girl! I think you are doing the best you can with what you have. NObody could ask for more. Believe me, I know..... (((((((( hug ))))))))))) -- Regards, Evelyn (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox") |
#19
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"Luna" wrote in message
... I'm sick of people minimizing other people's struggles, in general, not just in my case. This whole attitude of "What you're going through isn't that hard, stop whining" First off, it's crap. Everyone knows it's crap when the struggle is against something concrete and external. We all know people have different levels of physical ability. For example, if my 82 year old grandmother, who has a bad hip and has never ridden a bike, learned how to ride and rode a whole mile, that would be a far more difficult accomplishment than if Roger, in his present condition, were to ride a mile on his bike. Yet, when it's an internal struggle, people expect everyone to have the same ability and level of difficulty. I don't know why it is so hard to accept that some people may have a more difficult time controlling their eating than others, some people may have more difficulty dealing with stress, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, etc. There are different levels of natural ability, and different levels of life experiences which help build coping skills. I've never had a drinking problem, so should I sit in judgment of people who do and say "What's the big deal? I don't find it so hard not to drink, neither should you." For you it may be no big deal to go out and shop for groceries. For an acute agoraphobic, this would be a huge deal. Telling them to stop whining and get over it won't help at all and would just make you look like an asshole. Lying to myself and telling myself that quitting smoking is easy and controlling my eating is easy will not magically make it easy. Instead it just makes me feel like a failure over and over. It would make me _not_ seek out help and support, because hey, if it's easy I shouldn't need help. If eating less is so easy, then I shouldn't need to get out of the house or find some other way to distract myself when I feel like munching. If it's so easy, it should just happen automatically with no effort on my part. And waiting around for it to happen on its own won't get the job done. Like every other human being I have my strengths and weaknesses. Some of my weak areas include self control, impulse control, motivation, and maintaining a positive outlook. Those 4 things are the main tendencies I have to fight against in just about every endeavor in my life. And for people who _don't_ have problems in those areas to come and tell me that no, I actually don't have them either, that I'm making it up to get attention, or using them as excuses, is a bunch of crap. I'm not making them up, and they're not excuses. You have to play the hand you're dealt in life, and that's the hand I have. I would be completely deserving of being called a drama queen or told I was making excuses if I said that I was giving up, that I didn't want to play the game anymore, that it was too hard and I was just going to take my toys and go home. Well, I'm not doing that. This is hard and it sucks and I hate it, but it's worth it. I want to be healthy and strong, no matter what it takes, and I will do it, I will get there. The fact that I find it difficult doesn't mean I have some kind of moral failing. The moral failing would be in letting the difficulty be an excuse to stop working on it. -- Michelle Levin Michelle, you go girl! I think you are doing the best you can with what you have. NObody could ask for more. Believe me, I know..... (((((((( hug ))))))))))) -- Regards, Evelyn (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox") |
#20
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as a former 13 year, pack and a half a day smoker, i can tell you the
answer. quitting smoking. piece of cake compared to true weightloss and maintenance. peace, pen "Ignoramus24885" wrote in message ... Not being a smoker, I am curious, which is easier: losing 20% of bodyweight and keeping it off, or quitting smoking for good. i |
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