Torture yourself tomorrow

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving meals contain loads of carbs.
You are on a low carb diet, so you can't eat anything except a few
carrot and celery sticks.

Remember, you can not eat carbs.
I repeat....
YOU CAN NOT EAT CARBS.

Therefore, you can NOT eat Thanksgiving dinner.
And since you cant eat, why should anyone else enjoy their dinner.

The solution, TORTURE YOURSELF, while ruining dinner for everyone
else.

Begin by refusing to eat, in fact, refuse to even sit at the table.
When they say Grace, cus out God and make rude comments about God
wanting everyone to get fat. As soon as everyone starts eating,
stand near the table while others eat and make lots of rude comments
about all the carbs and far and other bad stuff that others are
eating. Be sure to raise your voice and use many cus words, and
loudly stamp around the table in a rapid and irritated manner. Tell
everyone how the carbs are going to ruin their health an make then fat
and ugly. Make sure you knock over glasses of liquids, bottles of
expensive wine, break some plates and dump over the mashed potatoes,
dressing and gravy.

It wont be long before they ask you to leave. When they do, grab a
kitchen knife, walk into another room and stab yourself in the chest,
slash your wrists, and cut off your ears. You want lots of blood
spurting around. Once the blood is really spurting, run into the
dining room (or wherever everyone is eating) and make sure everyone
sees you covered with blood. Scream and yell at the top of your lungs
so they take notice, and be sure to make them all aware that the
reason you did this is because they rejected you when they told you to
leave. Your first goal is to make them feel guilty. Your other goal
is to ruin their meal. If you got blood spurting from your slashed
wrists, or your chest, make sure the blood shoots all over the table
and their plates, and on to their fancy clothing.

By the time you finish doing this, you wont want to eat anymore, and
you'll get lots of attention from others, (which is what you wanted),
and in the process, you'll completely ruin their meal. Remember, you
want to ruin the meal for everyone, and that means EVERYONE. If you
cant eat and enjoy your meal, why should they. Do everything to ruin
the meal for others, to make you feel better about not being able to
eat.

On the way to the hospital, be sure to scream constantly and cus and
act like you are going into convulsions. Try to cut yourself more,
even if you have to use your fingernails. You want everyone to think
that you are dying, and be sure to keep blaming your relatives for
killing you, and call them lots of foul names. Remember, you want
attention. Once you get to the hospital, spit in the faces of doctors
and nurses, and rip out any IV tubes they put in you. Break whatever
you can, and be sure to let everyone know that you are really angry
for not being able to eat the Thanksgiving dinner.

Hopefully you succeeded in ruining Thanksgiving for everyone who dared
to eat all those nasty carbs, and you feel better about yourself.


This website should explain everything......
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3522903.stm

On Nov 21, 8:06 am, wrote:
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving meals contain loads of carbs.
You are on a low carb diet, so you can't eat anything except a few
carrot and celery sticks.

Remember, you can not eat carbs.
I repeat....
YOU CAN NOT EAT CARBS.

No, you stupid piece of dog ****. I'm going to take a little holiday
from low carbing. I'll still go very easy on anything carby, partly
because I know that it'd make me feel crappy if I didn't. I'll be
back into ketosis within three days.

Oh, and most *former* Atkins dieters are fat, and getting fatter. I,
on the other hand, am getting thinner every week, and have more energy
than I have had since I got sloppy about carbs.

Plus, any low carber can have unlimited turkey, and the gravy CAN be
made with vegetable gums instead of flour or cornstarch. We can have
green beans. Cranberry sauce can be made with Splenda. While I
detest the faux mashed potatoes (cauliflower), lots of folks love
them.

I am easily personally identifiable. You are a cowardly, stinking
piece of dog **** who hides behind an address you created just to post
the worthless crap you posted. Coward.

--Bryan Simmons, Clayton (St. Louis), Missouri, USA

On 2007-11-21, wrote:
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving meals contain loads of carbs.
You are on a low carb diet, so you can't eat anything except a few
carrot and celery sticks.

How about turkey?

i

Remember, you can not eat carbs.
I repeat....
YOU CAN NOT EAT CARBS.

Therefore, you can NOT eat Thanksgiving dinner.
And since you cant eat, why should anyone else enjoy their dinner.

The solution, TORTURE YOURSELF, while ruining dinner for everyone
else.

Ignoramus4770 wrote:
On 2007-11-21,
wrote:
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving meals contain loads of carbs.
You are on a low carb diet, so you can't eat anything except a few
carrot and celery sticks.

How about turkey?

..... and steak?

wrote:
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving meals contain loads of carbs.
You are on a low carb diet, so you can't eat anything except a few
carrot and celery sticks.

Actually, carrots are rather carby, which you would know if you were
actually a former Atkins dieter rather than just a troll who signed up
for a hotmail account.


Remember, you can not eat carbs.
I repeat....
YOU CAN NOT EAT CARBS.

Therefore, you can NOT eat Thanksgiving dinner.
And since you cant eat, why should anyone else enjoy their dinner.

The solution, TORTURE YOURSELF, while ruining dinner for everyone
else.

I don't see why I can't eat the 20 lb turkey thawing in my fridge.
Well, maybe not at one sitting.

Turkey with gravy. Roasted green beans. Pumpkin custard with whipped
cream. A very dry champagne.

Yeah, it's gonna be torture sucking that down.

--
http://www.ornery-geeks.org/consulting/

On 2007-11-21, Ophelia wrote:
Ignoramus4770 wrote:
On 2007-11-21,
wrote:
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving meals contain loads of carbs.
You are on a low carb diet, so you can't eat anything except a few
carrot and celery sticks.

How about turkey?

.... and steak?

The way I see it, eating turkey and skipping mashed potatoes and cake
on Thanksgiving is not any more difficult than doing so on any other
day.

The OP's attempt at trolling was about 2 out of 5 on my scale.

i

wrote in message
...

Quantity has a quality all its own.

While I would normally have 30 net carbs in a day, for Thanksgiving I should
be able to have 75 without messing up my type 2 diabetes too much.

With large portions of turkey-like stuff and small small portions of carby
stuff, it should be no big deal.

wrote:
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving meals contain loads of carbs.
You are on a low carb diet, so you can't eat anything except a few
carrot and celery sticks.

Remember, you can not eat carbs.
I repeat....
YOU CAN NOT EAT CARBS.


TROLL-O-METER

-10..............0....................10

On Nov 21, 8:55 am, "Michael \"Dog3\"" wrote:
"Bobo Bonobo(R)" dropped this news:d2bc990e-a1a1-
: in rec.food.cooking



On Nov 21, 8:06 am, wrote:
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving meals contain loads of carbs.
You are on a low carb diet, so you can't eat anything except a few
carrot and celery sticks.

Remember, you can not eat carbs.
I repeat....
YOU CAN NOT EAT CARBS.

No, you stupid piece of dog ****. I'm going to take a little holiday
from low carbing. I'll still go very easy on anything carby, partly
because I know that it'd make me feel crappy if I didn't. I'll be
back into ketosis within three days.

Oh, and most *former* Atkins dieters are fat, and getting fatter. I,
on the other hand, am getting thinner every week, and have more energy
than I have had since I got sloppy about carbs.

Plus, any low carber can have unlimited turkey, and the gravy CAN be
made with vegetable gums instead of flour or cornstarch. We can have
green beans. Cranberry sauce can be made with Splenda. While I
detest the faux mashed potatoes (cauliflower), lots of folks love
them.

I am easily personally identifiable. You are a cowardly, stinking
piece of dog **** who hides behind an address you created just to post
the worthless crap you posted. Coward.

--Bryan Simmons, Clayton (St. Louis), Missouri, USA

OMFG... you live in Clayton. You are sort of like my neighbor.

I live a hundred yards or so from Sasha's/Jimmy's/Kaldi's. We used to
live closer to you when we lived in Richmond Heights.

BTW, what is wrong with mashed cauliflower?
I like it under certain circumstances.

I hate all the cultivars of *Brassica oleracea*.
If you like them you're lucky. They are very good for you.

Michael

--Bryan

On Nov 21, 5:06 pm, "Michael \"Dog3\"" wrote:
"Bobo Bonobo(R)" dropped this news:41196c8b-93ee-41ad-
: in rec.food.cooking

I live a hundred yards or so from Sasha's/Jimmy's/Kaldi's. We used to
live closer to you when we lived in Richmond Heights.

KALDI'S? The original one? Across from the Seminary? OMG, they have the
best scones. I go there often in the middle of the afternoon. IIRC it is
the Rosebury neighborhood. Correct me if I'm wrong.

It is called the DeMun neighborhood. I live on S Rosebury.
Their scones are very good. They had them at the Taste of Clayton
this year for ONE ticket ($1.25). I got several extra to bring home.

My son goes to the school across the street from Kaldi's. It's why we
moved to this otherwise overpriced neighborhood.

BTW, what is wrong with mashed cauliflower?
I like it under certain circumstances.

I hate all the cultivars of *Brassica oleracea*.
If you like them you're lucky. They are very good for you.

I love root veggies. All of them. Must be my Irish heritage.

Collie-flower ain't no root.

Michael

--Bryan