hitting the bottom and bouncing back up

On Sun, 02 Nov 2003 12:50:05 GMT, Chris Braun
wrote:

(For me, being upset about something makes me uninterested in eating.
I'm much more someone who associates eating with celebration and
happiness and reward and recreation and such. I'd indulge in lots of
sweets and fattening foods when I was enjoying myself with friends, on
vacation, at the end of a hard and productive work day as a reward,
because it was Saturday and a nice day, etc. Maybe a happier reason
for eating, but it makes you just as fat. I have needed to work on
separating having fun from eating.)

This sort of sums up my attitude to alcohol, which for me is never a
strong temptation, just a very enjoyable way of celebrating with
others. It would never occur to me to drink either alone or because I
was feeling low (or worse still, both). And yet with food, it's the
opposite. If the company is good and there's a lot to talk about I
almost forget about the food, but my most destructive eating behaviour
is always done alone.
janice

"Ignoramus3976" wrote in message
...
LOL - try 5 pounds. I went from 140 back to 145 in 1 day. My
metabolism is
still not normal which is why despite my level of physical activity, I
have
to keep calories in close check.

I had the same experience and, I think, the explanation. The
explanation is that while you are in the dieting mode, your glycogen
and other water based energy stores are low. They are not as energy
dense as fat and therefore, if you eat too many calories, they go into
these watery stores and greatly increase yoru weight.

What this means is that if you reach 145 lbs you have not reached true
equilibrium 145 weight.

What it means is I'm chock full of water and other stuff that will wash out
over the course of the next day or two if I just drink enough water and
don't overeat for the next few days.

To sympathize with you further, I also gained 2 lbs since
yesterday. We had a Halloween party at our friends where I did eat into
the night and drank. I tried to moderate my eating, so it was not a
binge, but I did overeat and gained 2 lbs. So I am 178 instead of 186.

It's water. My weight has fluctuated +/- 2 pounds daily. Always has,
always will.


not being an expert... if you recognize you are in the middle of a
binge... can you get out of the house for a walk with no food on you
and no money?

Probably. That's the secret to conquering the impulse - catch it and divert
it. I live in the middle of nowhere in a forest. I could leave the house
with $100 but without a car I could just feed it to the owls. If I had been
able to stop myself long enough to get dressed and go outside (it was in the
20's), I wouldn't have binged in the first place. There are plenty of times
the urge hits - not as strongly - and I'm able to go find something to
distract me. At work I go brush my teeth if it's my lunch or other
non-class time.
I am responsible for the behavior and my actions and that sometimes
makes
the problem worse because there really is no one to blame but myself -
which
can lead to more self destruction but didn't. I got through it. I
didn't
compound the problem by going out and buying what I really wanted to
eat. I
even survived grocery shopping. I went down 1 pound today and I am
continuing to work on the issues that brought it on in the first place.


Yep, keep working on it, like I said earlier, watch yourself like a
hawk. I was right all along about the risk of regaining, which I am
not saying for gloating purposes, but rather to underscore that it is
better to be too vigilant than not enough vigilant.

i
223/178/180

I don't know what you think you were right about. I never said there wasn't
a risk of regaining. Because you have decided to go back to ignorant
condescention mode I will explain for the fiftieth time - I am vigilant but
since my weight fluctuates by +/- 2 pounds DAILY, I have no need to panic
over a pound or two. The 5 pounds is mostly water because it is PHYSICALLY
IMPOSSIBLE to gain 5 pounds of actual weight unless you consume 17,500
calories more than you burn off - and I'm burning off calories at only a
slightly lower than typical rate for someone of my weight and activity
level.

VIGILANCE DOESN'T STOP COMPUSIVE BINGE EATING. If anything, it may
exacerbate it because in some cases like mine, binges are tied to a
self-defeating, self-punishment. Any indication of failure may trigger the
feelings that I don't deserve to be happy or something and find ways to hurt
myself, in my case that would be overeating. If you still refuse to read and
understand that you can't rationalize this and regimentation only makes the
situation worse, let me know and I'll use smaller words next time.

--
Jenn
300/145 in maintenance since 10/28/03
Living well is the best revenge

"Jennifer Austin" wrote in message
...

The war is just beginning. The battles are not easy. I am not as strong
as
I want to be. The damage was more mental than physical. Just wanted to
share the difficulties.

--
Jenn
300/145 in maintenance since 10/28/03
Living well is the best revenge

Jenn,
I'm glad you decided to share your experience with us. I'm so glad you were
able to bring it under control and I'm sure you'll be just as successful
should it occur again. You've come so far and I know you'll find what it
takes to get through this...

Beverly

"Chris Braun" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 2 Nov 2003 06:06:35 -0600, "Jennifer Austin"
wrote:

LOL - try 5 pounds. I went from 140 back to 145 in 1 day. My metabolism
is
still not normal which is why despite my level of physical activity, I
have
to keep calories in close check.

The 5 pounds has to be mainly water weight, though. Even if your
metabolism is weird, you can't put on 5 pounds of fat with an extra
3000 or so calories. It will be gone in a day or two if you get back
on plan, watch the sodium, and drink plenty of water.

ITA and that's what I'm working on I just said that because ig is so
anal retentive about every single ounce gained or lost. My weight
fluctuates +/- 2 pounds daily these days due to water and stuff. The other
good thing is that 145 was my high end and I'd gotten down to 140 before
this happened.


I found your story really moving, though. I have never been a binge
eater, but you made me feel what it must be like. You write well, and
from the heart.

Thanks Chris. I used to hate writing until a professor I had sat me down
and taught me how. I find that it really helps me get things out by putting
it on paper. I go through a lot of journals nowadays.

(For me, being upset about something makes me uninterested in eating.
I'm much more someone who associates eating with celebration and
happiness and reward and recreation and such. I'd indulge in lots of
sweets and fattening foods when I was enjoying myself with friends, on
vacation, at the end of a hard and productive work day as a reward,
because it was Saturday and a nice day, etc. Maybe a happier reason
for eating, but it makes you just as fat. I have needed to work on
separating having fun from eating.)

I would eat for any emotional situation, but I do find that the more
contented I am, the less I eat. Since I'm an introvert, being around people
tends to make me want to eat more.

I hope you're feeling happier and stronger today.

Chris

I really am! Thanks. I made sure to start tackling the issues right away
and dealing with the people and things I could deal with. Once the sun came
up this morning I saw that the universe held off the rain and snow predicted
for today so I could get in another run so I took advantage of it, then I
did 30 min of dumbell work (flyes, rows, curls, extensions, lunges, and
squats) and some abs. Now I can spend the whole day doing laundry and
grading papers for over 200 students so I can do report cards tomorrow.

Jenn

"janice" wrote in message
...

Stay strong - you just cannot undo what you've achieved!
janice

Sadly, I can undo it. I've seen it happen to a lot of people.
Fortunately,
I *refuse* to undo it. My support systems fell into place and got quite
the
workout. I'm very lucky to have the few close friends I do that
understand
me as a person.

Sorry Jenn, just wanted to clear up the misunderstanding. By "cannot"
I meant it in the sense of "must not" not in the sense that it wasn't
possible. (Perhaps we use the word slightly differently where I am).
I of all people know that it is highly possible to undo everything. I
can put back 8 lbs in 2 days and know from experience that this can be
the beginning of putting back the whole lot over a much shorter time
than it took to lose it.

I can't tell you how to stay on track, but I can tell you you're not
alone in the issues you face.

janice

As an english teacher, I sometimes get fussy over my own word choice which
is my problem, not yours You've been very supportive and it is nice to
talk to others like you who go through the same thing.

Jenn

"Ignoramus3976" wrote in message
...
Another thought for Jennifer.

It is good that you are posting here and it is good that you are
completely honest. This may be verybeneficial to you as far as keeping
yourself under control.

i
223/178/180

Ya think?

On Sat, 1 Nov 2003 21:35:52 -0600, "Jennifer Austin"
wrote:

The war is just beginning. The battles are not easy. I am not as strong as
I want to be. The damage was more mental than physical. Just wanted to
share the difficulties.

Jenn, I don't think the war is EVER over. We fight battles and
skirmishes, and sometimes a peace breaks out, but it's always there,
waiting for a slip in attention or attitude.

You've done amazing. And thank you for posting this - I've been
struggling this past week and can't seem to get my head back where it
needs to be.

Best,
Kimba

--You did then what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better. Maya Angelou

"Chris Braun" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 2 Nov 2003 06:06:35 -0600, "Jennifer Austin"
wrote:

LOL - try 5 pounds. I went from 140 back to 145 in 1 day. My metabolism
is
still not normal which is why despite my level of physical activity, I
have
to keep calories in close check.

The 5 pounds has to be mainly water weight, though. Even if your
metabolism is weird, you can't put on 5 pounds of fat with an extra
3000 or so calories. It will be gone in a day or two if you get back
on plan, watch the sodium, and drink plenty of water.

I found your story really moving, though. I have never been a binge
eater, but you made me feel what it must be like. You write well, and
from the heart.

(For me, being upset about something makes me uninterested in eating.
I'm much more someone who associates eating with celebration and
happiness and reward and recreation and such. I'd indulge in lots of
sweets and fattening foods when I was enjoying myself with friends, on
vacation, at the end of a hard and productive work day as a reward,
because it was Saturday and a nice day, etc. Maybe a happier reason
for eating, but it makes you just as fat. I have needed to work on
separating having fun from eating.)

This is my exact problem, too. My worst time was vacations. The past
couple of years I've tried to include bike riding, swimming or some other
form of exercise in the vacations. It certainly has helped as you don't
feel like stuffing yourself when you know you have another 10-15 miles to
ride. Fall festivals were another problem until my daughter and I started
riding to them from a nearby town. I'm like you - I need to separate food
and fun.

Beverly


I hope you're feeling happier and stronger today.

Chris

Personally, I believe that the toughest part may be maintanance. HMR takes
the guesswork out of what to eat. I've never made it to a goal, but I know
that it will be difficult to live day by day thinking about everything I put
into my mouth. You are one step ahead of many people. At least you know
your weaknesses and are fighting to face them and win. There are millions
of people that are obese and just accept that lot in their life. You have
seen the light (so to speak).

That's what I have to tell myself every day. I mostly wanted people to
know
that I'm not having as easy of a time as it sometimes seems from my posts.
I'm aware of the setbacks and the challenges. I wonder if it wasn't
easier
to get out of the destructive pattern because I'm at my goal weight and
feel
like I have so much more to lose by giving in rather than it being a light
at the end of a long tunnel. If the same thing had happened months ago,
would I have thrown in the towel and given up rather than fight?
Probably,
since that's what I've always done. That's just one more reason I am glad
I
did HMR and took off the pounds quickly.
--
Jenn
300/145 in maintenance since 10/28/03
Living well is the best revenge

Interesting - I've often wondered if it wouldn't be easier to resist
bingeing if I was at my goal rather than on the way to it. Not just
that there's more to lose (or rather to regain!). There's a strong
element of my binge behaviour that is like "the condemned man's last
meal" - that is, I know I'm going to have to get back on track but
while I'm "allowing" myself to eat everything, why don't I just let
myself have one more day and then I'll go back to my WOE. Of course,
one day turns into two and so on, and we all know where that leads.
This is one of the reasons I believe that, for me at least, too rigid
dieting isn't the way to stop bingeing.
janice


For me, and many obese people, not being rigid will set us up for failure.
If I am given too many choices, it will be hard for me. I can't speak for
Jennifer though....